Back to Normal?

Finally, what felt like a normal weekend in months!  I had originally planned to head to either KC (where I was really hoping to race with some Ethos peeps) or STL to race one of the UFD season opener XC races, but the constant barrage of rain last week had me wondering if ANYTHING was rideable in the good ole State of Miss-ery.

So, erring on the side of caution, I stayed local and participated in a local club ride with several friends.

The Chili Ride usually had a good turnout and this year was no different with what I estimated to be 100+ in the parking lot.  I met up with Dennis, Cynthia, JB, Doug A., Jake B., early before the race.  I anticipated starting with them, and then promptly being dropped.  It was nice to hear that they were not going to hammer.  This is a recurrent theme, though, and I knew it couldn’t last.

As usual, after pre-ride announcements, we were first out of the parking lot setting the pace.  Five miles, we were still all together, but I knew the pace must have been relatively brisk due to the fact that we had dropped everyone and nobody had even attempted to pass.  Eleven miles in, we were still hanging together.  Fifteen miles…oops…knew it was too good to last.

We eventually caught them at the second aid station and stopped for a few minutes before heading back out together.

There were pickups here and there, but not even a county line sign offered any enticement for sprints.

Lots of hills managed to cook my legs and I started cramping within about 2 miles of the finish.  I was thankful for the hard effort, but I was glad to be done…2 miles short of an even 50.

Today’s ride was supposed to be an easy spin for recovery, but the abundance of hills never makes for an easy spin and Cliff decided he wanted to do intervals on those hills.  Every single hill.  Again, thankful for the hard effort because I know it just has to be doing some good, right?

Next up…OUACHITA CHALLENGE!!!  One week from today.  I am panicked beyond all reasonable imagination.  I don’t feel as prepared as I did last year, so the plan is to go out, ride hard, finish.

 

A little therapy…

A little bike therapy and a little UV therapy can do wonders for the psyche.   It feels good to be back on track!

Busiek State Park - White Loop

Balancing Life?

[WARNING: This is not a happy-feel-good-got-to-ride-my-bike kind of post.  This about to get depressing.  But I don't want to ever forget this day and how it made me feel.  Because I'm never coming back to a day like today.]

Today, that tag line, Balancing Life, seems like a bad joke.  I thought I was balancing life…a family, work, school, bike…turns out I wasn’t really balancing anything.  I was balancing what I thought was my life.  When someone lies to you and its a lie that turns your life upside down and makes you question EVERYTHING, you lose your balance.  Or in essence, that which you thought was your balance.

This morning I didn’t want to ride my bike ever again.  I didn’t want to go to work.  I didn’t want to go to school.  I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not even my beautiful daughters.  I didn’t want to eat, drink, think, walk, live. I had pretty much reached my limit on how much pain and hurt I could take in a lifetime.

I almost gave up.

Almost.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I came home and cried.  A lot.

And I did NOT record my speech which is due tomorrow because my eyes get horribly puffy when I cry.  And my hair was a mess and I couldn’t breathe out of my nose very well and I thought that it would be a pretty shitty recording of a speech that I really put some work into.

And I cried some more.  And then I ate half of a Maple Bacon Cupcake from The Cup.

And for the love of God, I could not quit crying for awhile.

Then I decided that I should probably be done with being sad, because let’s be honest, its bullshit to and a total waste of time to wallow in self-pity.  And whatever happened today, or Monday or last week is in the past.  Nothing I do is going to change the past.

I received an apology.  I am capable of forgiving.

So starting tomorrow, I’m going to start forgiving.

Then I’m going to get back on my bike and ride.

Miles and miles away from days like today.  Back toward some balance.

IMBA Trail Crew

Lake Leatherwood, E.S., AR

They were here! Morgan and Steve Lommele, who comprise one of two IMBA/Subaru Trail Crews in the country, came to visit us and impart us with some of their worldly knowledge on how to build sustainable things. Mostly trails, but also how to build a sustainable club. Their presentations were fun and informative and I learned alot. Things that obviously can be applied immediately while we’re doing trailwork, but also some things to think about a little deeper that can probably be applicable to my major. I like that!

After the presentation on Saturday, about eight of us (Beth, Gary, Beau, Anna, Jason, Mark, Trent and me) from MORC headed down to Lake Leatherwood in Eureka Springs to give Morgan and Steve a tour of some of the Arkansas sweetness that we rave about. Most of the trails were in great shape but, obviously, the trail around the lake was wet. Beth and I were more than happy to slow things down a bit and have a conversation with Morgan, while the boys (and Anna) rode ahead. They were always very kind to stop and wait for us…after all, we were riding “party pace.”

Morgan and Steve were on their way to Fayettevill for the next week’s presentation, so we were on a schedule (because after all, it was Superbowl Sunday) so after about 3 hours, it was time to pack it up and get something (Mexican) to eat!

It was a great day, even though the clouds never cleared and the temp never got above 37F. Good people, good riding, good food and the Superbowl!

More trailbuilding in store for next weekend. Hopefully I’ll have the new wheels and tires put on the SS and ready to roll by Saturday.

OC is 7 weeks away…that’s still enough time to train, right???

Ethos Racing!

That motivation that I was looking for earlier, just came in the form of an invite to race with the fine folks of Ethos Racing out of Kansas City!  I am so excited to be a part of this team.  I have watched many of them race over the past couple of years (one of them even saved my life!) and enjoyed a little friendly competition with their female team members at many of the races here in the Midwest (and Arkansas).  They are all super strong and stupid fast, so my work is once again cut out for me so that I don’t disappoint!

The lack of motivation is not without merit, though.  I’ve struggled with it all month and going back to school has me busier than ever.  But I did cut my work hours back to part-time, so that should take off a little stress and allow for a little more bike-love.

So, first on my agenda is getting the new wheels on the SS so I can get out there and get serious.  I have some real big sh*t to take care of this year!

Motivation…

I can’t seem to find my motivation.  My sister-in-law calls it the post-semester-blob syndrome.  I will turn into a blob if something doesn’t happen.  Soon.

I really thought signing up for a 25k trail run might do the trick.  The run is in February.  I’ve done it before and know the terrain well.  It’s not kind to slackers.  As of today, I have managed to run zero times since signing up, for a total of zero miles.  Doing good.

This morning I woke up with every intention of going for a run.   But after my first cup of coffee in bed, it was just so nice and comfy, I decided to have another and just hang out there for awhile.  So no miles accumulated today, either.

Maybe I need to buy some new running shoes???  Does that help?

I’m imagining that a week from today, when we are at Copper Mountain preparing to spend the following 4 days skiing, I will find some motivation. 

In any event, should I not find my motivation a week from today, I’m not sure I’ll be able to dig myself out of such a deficit. 

 

Holy Crap! Christmas is Sunday…

Tags

days until christmas, greenwood laboratory school, leadville co

Christmas is Sunday.  THIS Sunday!  Five more shopping days until Christmas!

I finished my shopping the day after Thanksgiving.  Most of it online.  The other stuff was purchased “local.”  Probably the easiest year for shopping ever in the history of my Christmas productions.

Good thing because we’ve been dealing with a lot of crap.

By “crap” I mean stupid little high school bitches who have been bullying my daughter.  Bullying that’s taken place off and on over the past 3 years.  Different girls.  Random guys.  Stupid shit that shouldn’t be happening.

We’ve dealt with it though.  We’re pulling my daughter out of the school system she’s been a part of for the past 10 years.  Tough thing to do when you’re a sophomore in high school.  But she has a positive outlook and we’re all confident it’s the right thing to do.  She’ll be attending Greenwood Laboratory School in Springfield.  Our only real option was private school or homeschooling.  The school is a good one with a lot of opportunities.

Speaking of school…good crap I’ve been dealing with: I went back to school in August!  I managed to carry a full course load of 15 hours and make all A’s, while working full-time.  Note: Biology after 27 years out of school is total bullshit!  Nobody should be required to take biology when they’re 45 years old…unless it’s their major.  Horrible, just horrible.

As an “extra” Christmas present to us, we’re going skiing over New Year’s!  We’re leaving on December 28th for Leadville, CO!  I can hardly wait for some snow time.  It’s been unseasonably warm here…60 on December 18!  WTF???  Begging for some snow.  Not because I like driving in it, because I don’t.  But I love to be out in it.  Even if that means shoveling my driveway.  Great cardio.

So, my Christmas shopping is done.  Presents are wrapped.  Semester is over (which means no studying).  Christmas baking finished!

Bring it Santa!

About Face…

There have been some big changes in my life the past 4 months…I think it’s time to make some additional changes.  I struggle daily with depression and instead of making things more difficult, I need to simplify to make my life manageable.  Time to weed out some negative influences and get on with it…

Are You Aware That it is Already November?

November!  How did it sneak up on me so fast?

I believe it’s probably because I’m busy, busy, busy.

I need a new car.

I need a new bike.

Christmas is just around the corner.

I need a vacation.

Countdown to Leadville

This entire year has been a countdown to Leadville.  Again.  Unfortunately, I think I peaked back around the first week of May.  Hopefully, its just the heat and humidity that has me down.

My bike is performing really well.  It’s 2 years old…almost.  I’ve made very few changes to it, but the upgrades that I have made were pretty significant.  New set of XX brakes, new bottom bracket, new cassette and, most recently, new rear wheel since the free-hub is going, going, almost gone out of the current one.  Bontrager/Trek is warrantying the Race X Lite TLR Disc CL 29, so now I will have a perfectly mismatched set of wheels.  Silver on the front, black on the back.  Oh, well.  Fashion is not my forte anyway.

The only thing I really need now is a new set of brake pads, as the current ones are worn slick from riding in Breckenridge a couple of weeks ago.   And I kind of need (ok, want) new pedals. 

On second though, new pedals aren’t really necessary.  I’d rather spend that money on the family and eating or something fun.

I cannot wait to get to Leadville.  Correction.  I cannot wait to get out of Missouri.  We’re driving straight through on the evening of August 3 so as to not have to experience Kansas in the daylight.  We all hate Kansas.  Definitely the sweaty armpit of America.

Speaking of sweaty armpits, do not EVER stop at a Taco John’s, particularly the Taco John’s in Goodland, KS.  I don’t know why we even stopped there last time, but I’ve been meaning to call corporate and give them an earful of complaints!  Nasty!

Now it’s on to final preparations, both at work and home.  I’m taking the office laptop so I can work from Leadville.  I’m super excited about this.  Working while on vacation.  It’s going to be f*cking awesome.  Although, I guess I could not be going at all because of work.  That shit happens, you know.

On the homefront, I need to get a whole shit-ton of laundry done, last minute shopping, prepare instructions for the house/dog-sitter, put things away that don’t need to be left out for the house/dog-sitter to see, stuff like that.

I will lay everything out all over the house.  I will pack.  Then I will unpack everything and lay it out so I can see it all again.  Then repack all of it, again.  Then probably rearrange it just as a last minute precautionary measure to assure myself that yes, I have packed everything that I could ever possibly need.  And it will be so much stuff that I could live out there for months.  Then, I will buy more stuff when I’m out there.  To use and consume while I’m there, and then buy more stuff to bring home.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVEE vacation.